So sick and tired of my dramatic and overly sensitive in-laws. They look for more drama than the bitches on the Jersey Shore TV Show. It’s more than apparent that they have an issue with MY blog, but do they come to me to discuss it? No. They call Derrick and either yell at him, degrade him, cry and make it all about them or guilt trip the hell out of him. I was pissed off the other day because I was tired of my husband and children being hurt. My husband confided in me about his family being in town, being in Riverside and that no one, not one person picked up the phone and call and say hey, I’m in town, can I see you and the kids? Nope, we don’t know they’re even local until getting on Facebook and seeing pictures of them being in Riverside to visit Scott and his family. A family we barely found out existed. Speaking of that, no invitation to the baby shower, no call that the baby was born, no call to come meet our new niece, nothing. So we figured they didn’t want us around, we got the hint, which is why I’m glad we don’t spend the holidays with them because it’s nothing but fake niceties.
So anyways, I wrote a blog with my issues about them and whoa did they blow it out of proportion. Yeah it may have hurt some feelings to read the truth, but hey—the name of the blog IS Sugar & Spice Ain’t Always Nice—I’m blunt and honest. My in-laws don’t like me, that’s okay, the feeling is far more than mutual, but they should at least have respect for Derrick and our children, but no. We’re the “after-thought” in his family. Unlike my family and Derrick’s father’s side of the family. Granted, my family isn’t perfect, but whom ever they have an issue with, me OR Derrick, that’s who they go to, to talk to. My daughter Olivia has been alive for almost 4 years. You know how many times she’s met her Grandmother Brenda and her aunts? Once. She’s never met her uncles. Same goes for Savannah, she’ll be one next month and she’s met her paternal family once since she’s been born. You know how much that pisses me off? When I become a grandmother, I plan on being in my grandchildren’s lives as much as possible. Hell, Derrick and I are great aunt and uncle to Ares, Addison and Christina because my brothers and sister all forge a relationship with us AND maintain it. We fight, but we’re adults and know how to talk it out. We’re not fake one minute and bat shit crazy dramatic the next.
Yup, they’re all crazy and you know what’s ironic and stupid, that we TRIED to welcome them back into our lives after Derrick’s grandfather died. We tried, but they all play games of favoritism and other bullshit. Like tonight BRANDON ESPARZA (see kiddo, I mentioned you in a blog, you’re famous now cause it’s viral) decided to call my husband and throw his weight around, pretending to have these huge balls and threatening us with “Valerie works for the County of Riverside” Um, who gives a flying fuck. I know I’m right with the county, my bills are paid, I work hard and my kids are provided above and beyond necessities for life. They’re desperate to be liked and I don’t like them. I won’t ever like them and everyone who’s reading this KNOWS that. I won’t ever apologize for that. Derrick’s family have all been bullies for too damn long and I’ve stood by for 14 years listening to the bullshit they’ve put him and me through and now I say fuck it. I don’t need and don’t want these people in my lives if they don’t want to be in my life and from day one, they’ve done NOTHING but shown me that they didn’t want me in Derrick’s life.
I mean, seriously, these are the same people whom, on the FIRST day of meeting them, literally said, “Nice to meet you, but Derrick we thought you were gay.” The same person, Brandon, whom, at my Engagement Party got up to “toast” us and said “They’ll be divorced within a year.” Then there’s Alicia who’s called me a fat cow among other not so nice things. There’s Barry, who’s called me a fucking cunt and threatened me. Now tonight it’s Brandon, again, who’s threatening us. I’d like to see him try something, because I’ll turn that shit around on them so quick because the idiot doesn’t realize he threatened me via text message about his wife’s profession and her “ability” to have us investigated…um, hello, that’s a malicious act moron. He always says the stupidest shit when he’s angry. He looks like Wreck It Ralph when he’s angry LMAO. They don’t even know what they want. I’m not some ass-kissing blonde bimbo that barks whenever their husband says too. I’m not naming names, but they know who they are.
I won’t ever apologize for my writing, it just hurts them because they have to read the truth that they’re NOT these amazingly nice and religious people they claim to be. It’s all acting, it’s all fake and the ONLY reason they’re so angry is because it’s true and it’s out there via the internet. I’m also so sick of the jokes about Derrick being “pussy-whipped” or that he’s a puppet and I’m pulling the strings because they don’t know jack-shit about my marriage. I don’t know how ANY of them can speak ill about MY marriage when I’ve been married to the SAME man I have children with for over a decade now and we’re happier now than ever before. I wasn’t some knocked up teenage slut, I wasn’t married out of wedlock, I didn’t get knocked up randomly and I haven’t been divorced. I’m not one to run away from a problem. If somethings broke, I don’t throw it away, I FIX it and stick with it (i.e. my imperfect marriage) My husband is one of the most confident men I know, but he’s so desperate to have a loving relationship with his bullies of older siblings, that he tries SO hard to keep the peace and let them yell at him and degrade him and guilt trip him and when he DOES gain the courage to stand up for himself, they bark over him or they claim it’s me telling him what to say or do. Derrick has a brain of his own, even though they all think they bullied his opinions out of him when he was younger.
If they choose to read this, oh well. I meant every single word I wrote. Black and white, it’s right there and there will be NO apology for it. I’m perfectly okay without them in our lives. In fact, our lives are SIGNIFICANTLY better without them. It’s been how many years in between me being pregnant with Olivia and Derrick’s grandpa dying? That’s how many years our lives went on, happily, without these drama queens and kings a part of it. My kids have loving grandparents and aunts and uncles, Derrick has loving in-laws who call him SON and tell them they love him every time they see him or talk to him. Our little family has the WONDERFUL Bruno Family too, who goes out of their way to spoil the grandkids and Skype every weekend from Costa Rica. I have wonderful in-laws that I can confide in and talk to about anything and everything from my bipolar to alcoholism to abuse, anything. But, do I judge Derrick’s mother’s side of the family? Damn straight I do, because they’re judged me from day one. They claim to be God-fearing, Jesus-followers, but are those kind of people also right-fighters, screamers and guilt-trippers? Especially Alicia, when I wrote that blog, that was MY angry about DERRICK’S hurt and yet somehow, she broke down crying and made it about her once again. That the thing about these people, it ALWAYS has to be all about them. I’m SO over it. Glad to finally get all that off my chest.
Let the threats (and guilt trips, and dramatics, and angry screaming matches and stupid phone call and texts) commence!!!
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