Life has been getting rather busy lately. Any given day, I have something to do, even on my days off (like yesterday, I had to go grocery shopping and a therapy appointment). I’ve been trying to help Derrick keep the house clean, but after work and long bus rides and long walks home in the heat, I’m tired. I’m so exhausted, I crash on the couch for a hour or so. But today I didn’t crash, I helped with the laundry and I’m finally writing a blog after taking 2 days off from it. I think I needed a break and not much happened during those two days anyways. I was sick the day before yesterday and I had to work and it was horrible. I had an embarrassing runny nose all day. Yesterday I had a therapy appointment and that went pretty good. I talked to her about life, work and relationship issues between me and Derrick. I love how honest she is. She offered to have me and Derrick do a Couple’s Session next week and I’m really excited for that because Lord knows we need the help with communication.
Speaking of therapy, I know that writing this should be my own mental release therapy, but sometimes I feel like, what’s the point. No one really reads these. I don’t get any feedback anymore. To me, it feels like the only time I get readers/followers and commentary is when I blog about the sexually abusive past or my trysts. No one seems to be interested in the “life” I’m living. Granted, it’s not as exciting as the Kardashians, but hey, I think it’s interesting enough. I’ve been seeing a lot of negative comments regarding blogs lately and I’ve kind of shy’d away from sharing it much anymore. I’m thinking about closing the page and making it private, that way I have the therapy of getting it out, but not begging people to read it. Besides, my writing style makes a lot people feel uncomfortable so maybe I should quit. I’ll have to think about it some more.
Work was okay today. I think I’m getting a hang of the register pretty well. I have a hard time keeping up when he have a rush but at least I sold 2 replacement plans today! My arrow was in the red for the SYWR cards and that sucks. But you can’t FORCE people to sign up. What sucks is that if I don’t stay at 75% of SYWR memberships, I get docked hours and days. I’m trying my hardest, but I don’t know, people just seem to not have patience with me. It’s not like I’m slow or stupid, it’s that I’m just trying to be thorough and there’s a LONG script we have to recite as a cashier. There’s a million questions we have to ask the customer and they get annoyed with us and demand us to move faster. I can only go as fast as the computer will let me. I kept my area clean, put away go-backs and restocked the “impulse” areas. I have to figure out how to get more hours at work. Derrick can’t work, so I’m responsible for making 35 hours per week. And unfortunately, Olivia can’t go to preschool, unless I pay for it, but I can’t afford $125 per day. I feel so bad because we already got her hopes up.
Tonight is just me trying to relax after work. I’m thinking about taking a bath and sippin some red wine after the kiddos go to bed. We have church tomorrow morning and a Church Social afterwards. I’m making a three bean salad for the BBQ. It’s really good, but I have to make it tonight because it has to “marinate” overnight in the fridge. I’ll gladly share the 6 ingredient recipe if anyone wants it. I want to do my nails tonight but I don’t know if I have the energy. I really should though, I deserve it, I’ve been working so hard lately. So I don’t mind staying up a bit late to pamper myself. I just glad I wrote this blog. Today wasn’t all that special but it was a good day. Tomorrow I work at 4pm to 8pm. Trying to make next week’s check a big one so I can pay for the rents late fees. Hopefully my 3rd week check will be enough for the electric bill because I am SO sick and tired of being behind on every single bill every single month. I’m SO ready to be stable.
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