I was 14 the first time I laid eyes on him. He was a gorgeous German God at 6’3”. I had lust in my heart at the time but I had to get to know him better. I never got the chance to talk to him, every time I got up the nerve, he was distracted by something else. Eventually my lust turned into a crush and I really had a thing for this guy. He was tall, handsome and had a great ass and pretty green eyes. I never did get up the nerve to talk to him, except once. I asked him to play a KC & Jo Jo song for me. Yes, he was the DJ at the local skating rink and I was enamored. He was good with his hands, had great taste in music and hella talented on the quad skates. I wanted to be with him so bad, but I never had the nerve to ask him out. Two years went by of me coyly flirting with him from afar. But after two years I finally had his attention.
I truly believe that God wants us together because our paths have crossed so many times, but we just didn’t have the timing right. We both lived in Grand Terrace, within blocks of each other, at different times. He went to RCC and I was taking extra credit classes at RCC, but at different times. He lived in Blythe while wee’d constantly stop a block from his mother’s house at a rest stop, but we were never there at the same time. Chance, fate, God, whatever, decided to finally intervene and Derrick and I finally met. Thanks to both of our bestfriends; his was Dave and mine, Ashley. They were dating at the time and I didn’t know it. But anyways, Dave and Ashley needed a ride for a date one weekend and Derrick was their driver. Now they didn’t want Derrick to be a third wheel and lonely, so Ashley begged me to go on a blind date with this guy named “Derrick” even though I was technically dating Kenny at this time.
Eventually I gave in to the insistent begging and they arranged the date. Derrick pulled up in this loud, overbearing POS of a Ford and parked. Ashley jumped out and ran towards me and I to her, passing Derrick without giving him a look. It wasn’t until her and I were done hugging and squealing like little girls, that I pull away from her and turn towards Derrick. And there he was, MY Derrick. My crush. The guy I so desperately wanted to notice me, to ask me out, to be mine. He was standing right in front of me and was here to date ME. I couldn’t speak for a few minutes, I was literally speechless. I didn’t let anyone know that that was my Derrick, I tried to play it cool. And as I suspected, Derrick didn’t remember me. He had no idea who I was. But he wasn’t very incognito when it came to checking out my rack. Dude couldn’t take his eyes off my boobs. We went on our date, it was rather exciting. We got shot at while on the freeway. It was crazy.
The power of “3” is very special to us, because things always happened in threes. Three days after we met, Derrick asked me to be his girlfriend. Three weeks later we said “I love you”. Three months later he proposed. Three years later we get married, in 2003. Three months later, I find out I’m pregnant with our first child. So the number three is very special to us. It was a special moment when we said I love you. We’d just woken up and I rolled on top of him and I said “I have something to tell you, but I’m scared to.” Derrick looked me in the eyes and said, “Do you want me to say it first?” I knew right then that he was the guy I was supposed to marry. When Derrick proposed to me, we were actually at the mall getting our first “Couples” photograph taken. One, two, three poses and on the fourth, he bent down and pulled out a ring. The photographer captured my surprise.
We moved to Arizona in the beginning of 2003. Derrick was accepted to an art college and we moved to Phoenix. We bounced around from apartment to apartment til eventually we moved in with roommates from Derrick’s school. On a random Tuesday, I looked at Derrick and I asked him, “Do you love me?” and he answered, Yes. So I said, “Why don’t we just go get married?” And so we did, on April 1st, 2003. I wore a $10 Old Navy dress and said my wedding vows to my Derrick in front of a Judge and 6 friends from school. Three months later, I find out I’m pregnant with our first child, Evelyn. Our little family was well on it’s way to becoming something great and special. Fast forward to 2013 and we now have 4 children; Evelyn Rose, Maverick James, Olivia Autumn and Savannah Grace.
Derrick and I have fought to keep our marriage strong. He’s been there for me when I told him about the repeated rapes and my promiscuous past. I was there when his family assumed he was gay because he never brought any girlfriends home. He was there for me when I told him I was a self mutilator. I was there for him when he got hurt at work. He was there for me when I quit my jobs over my anxiety. I was there for him when he developed Rhabdomiolysis. He was there for me when I was diagnosed Bipolar (and everything else) and had to take tons of pills to be “normal”. We’ve been car-less, homeless, food-less and helpless, but we never gave up on each other. We’ve never given up, period. When so many couples would break up and move on from each other, we’d “fix” whatever was broken and be stronger than we were before.
The hardest part, but the best part of our relationship is the forgiving of our trespasses. And believe me, there’s been a lot of them. From me being physically abusive to me having affairs to him having an inappropriate relationship with my “best-friend” for three months while I was pregnant to him spending far too much time on video-games and not his family. We love each other enough to not walk away from the troubles, but to work on them and to forgive each other. Granted, it wasn’t easy, it was no cake walk, but it was something worth fighting for. And no, we’re not just staying together for the kids, we genuinely love one another and we think our marriage it worth working hard for. He’s my best friend and I his, truly. There’s no one is the world I’d rather stay up late talking to than him. There’s no one I’d rather share wealth and fortune with than him. He’s my everything. He’s the love of my life.
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